sonicmega's Xanga

It's the most... confusing time of the year

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:56:38 GMT

The most hilarious thing concerning this Christmas is the fact that my father has abosolutely no clue as to what to get me in terms of presents, a situation not similar with any other member of our quite extensive family. Yet what about this seemingly common occurrence strikes me as so off-the-wall? The fact that I have no clue what it is I want.

While my childhood was propagated with presents and game systems quite a fair amount more often than any child of my economic upbringing should have been exposed to, it would seem that this long period of having so many choices of what I wish to do had the reverse effect of dissuading me from the desire to purchase newer items with the realization of how much I already own; I wish not to even begin to recount how many times I have heard about the newest "hit" game appearing for the newer consoles within only a matter of weeks, only to return to my college dorm with plans of either raising Chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, playing through one of the many classic Megaman titles via the Anniversary Collection, or any other game selection that originally became available sometime in the 1990's. That's beside the point anyway, as my father expressed his disdain for purchasing me "videogames" as a present for Christmas unless I did the buying myself, so that option is out of the question already.

What then of the more personal, and even nonelectronic forms of amusement? This is where the contentedness of my life comes into play, along with the causes of it that will no doubt be written and written again in these entries should I manage to continue a posting spree (I prefer to avoid using "schedule" now, as it immediately scares my mind into not following it at any cost). Even as I sit now, cushioned lightly by the leather seat of this couch whilst the humble beats of "Stray" eminating from my site's music player soothe my ever-open ears, I cannot find a thing in the world that I absolutely desire in order to enjoy my time. It is another pang of boredom, no doubt, but at the same time it is one of those pangs you "appreciate" for the pure fact that you are capable of having them. I cannot imagine the stress placed upon people who rarely, if ever, have the chance to simply relax and do whatever pleases them, even if it's nothing at all. With the ever-filling concept of voice acting, however, I really don't need anything more.

In a desperate attempt to think of something I could ask for, in order to alleviate the inevitable awkward situation in response to sitting idly by whilst others survey their gifts on the 25th, I came to the conclusion that what I most desire are the things I once enjoyed in my younger years that I have long since seen available to me, many of which are consumables that last no longer than a week. The greatest of this? Vitamin D ("whole") milk, which despite its fatty content has the sweetest taste of any dairy liquid ever ingested on my part. Yet this is where the list ends for now, a measly 6 days remaining before the culmination of spending efforts arrives.

Hence, this is why I find it hilarious; the first year in which I have actually spent a considerable amount of money on my own family is not only the first year that we have had such a considerably greater number of members in that family, but also the first year I've contemplated how fine I'd be with receiving absolutely nothing for myself.

Is this the true "spirit" of the season that so many people refer to? I find it rather... wonky.

~ sonicmega

Boredom does wonderous things

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:50:07 GMT

I suppose one of the more noticeable habits I hold true to myself, regardless of whatever influences society provides me in the earnest attempt to better develop my character into something more acceptable by the masses, is that of my insatiable desire to fulfill the "normal" schedule I hold on a daily basis; that is, once I figure out a routine I follow regularly regarding what happens at what hour, I begin to seem almost OCD in the manner of how closely I attempt to follow it.

This of course is thrown off balance on a regular basis, perhaps majorly due to my Voice Acting hobby/career; between new audition threads popping up, ever-nearing deadlines for already slated projects, and my own personal divine sense of procrastination towards all things in general concerning life, very rarely do I find myself in a happy medium that stays consistent. The term "happy" is used exclusively here, as I am perhaps more content with my life than anyone else I know of, including the people who may come across this entry and think to themselves, "bullocks, he has no idea how good my life is, how conceited of him!". No, my friend, I am quite sure it is a pleasurable life I lead, I only wish you were around to bask in it and take some of the benefits for your own.

Understandably, this has also led to the rousing success regarding Xanga updates; that success, of course, is in the goal of consistently failing to do so regularly. Perhaps this is simply because of my approach towards how to gain attention and response from others, as rather than garner minor reactions to my often fruitless attempts to display unnecessary exaggerations of knowledge and word utilization I prefer instead to pursue my voice acting and let the results speak for themselves. More often than not, the resulting additions to my MSN and Skype list provide more hours of conversation and lifelong bonding than the substitute for verbal excrement I expound upon this page on the rare occasion that I am moved to come back to it.

Is it because I'm attempting to escape any discernible trace of my young teenage self, the recluse that relied on internet games and fame in order to give himself a reason to have pride? Your guess is as good as mine. At the same time, however, it is these internet relationships, the communications not withheld because of race, age, or looks withal, that I hold dearest to my ideals; I in fact purchased a copy of Metal Gear Solid 2 for one of my more prominent friends from MSN as a "thank you" for the many accounts of boredom he had delayed or erased through his participation.

If you couldn't tell by now, this is very much one of those "boredom results" you see here, generated only by my notice of a new comment being left on the last one (my thanks go to whoever was that lucky prodder). Should there be yet another gap between this post and the next, assume it was not because of a lack of interest here but instead a more prominent interest in finding out the results of this $400 audition competition.

For more info on that, though, I leave the prodding up to you. In the meantime, I'll be seeing how many more millions I acquired from outside-country lotteries I never remember entering. AOL never lies, right?....Right?

MSN/Live Messenger: anime_sonicmega@hotmail.com
SKYPE: NGsonicmega

~sonicmega :3

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:25:42 GMT

OBAMA WINS THE PRESIDENCY

Black people can be President!
People wear hats on their feet!
THE CAKE IS A TRUTH.

Actual writing later today!

Not just as planned...

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 01:48:34 GMT

There are a lot of things in college, and even in life in general, that you can quickly find to be pretty hard to keep; sanity, adequate hours of sleep, even vacation plans to visit others you know and love are made to be put aside as others come in. But what all 3 of these examples fall into is the one thing that I have observed is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to keep while living in college: a schedule.

Truthfully, I haven't participated in a lot of college events yet (and although my roommate thinks I don't care about that fact, I truly do), but the fact remains that even while attempting to hold some shred of control over what I am in and what I have left to attend and remember, I find myself constantly placing personal goals aside to fulfill more concrete and "necessary" actions regarding my classes and/or extra activities (which, don't get me wrong, I absolutely enjoy doing).

Has anyone else experienced the extreme stress this can place on a person yet? Perhaps the most obvious sign of my slowly going crazy lies in that EVERY SINGLE WEEK I have planned a replacing visit back home to both amuse my parents and try vainly to prove to them that I've actually been doing something constructive, an event has come up that absolutely must be tended to, perpetually pushing back my hopes of actually seeing humans who have tolerated me for longer than most people would consider a normal amount of exposure.

I'm slowly adapting, yes, although the repercussions of some of this change have effects even for those not a part of it (as is evident by the lack of regular updates here this week), and perhaps I can find solace in the fact that there's SOMEONE out there having a crappier time than myself.

Plus, I love life in general, absolutely embrace it. It's just as random as I am, so we find a lot to laugh about. Except when people walk by and wonder why the hell I'm laughing by myself while leaning back in a desk chair with the computer off.

That gets kind of awkward.

The sickening truth

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 05:47:46 GMT

It's absolutely amazing how quickly it dawns on you - the difference between life at home and your life as a college dorm individualist - when you come down with even the simplest of fevers and colds. Even despite the chance that you may have landed yourself a friend you know well as your dormmate, the contrast in approach to your less-than-stellar condition becomes sickly (AHAHA, puns) obvious.

At home, one simply questions the necessity of going to school that day (praying, of course, it lands upon a Monday that this should happen, in anticipation of an extra day to do unfinished homework, whereas Friday means simply the ruining of a perfectly exploitable weekend), hops into bed, and awaits full instruction on what action to take in regards to this specific sickness; medicine, bedrest amounts, consumption of food, all is relatively taken care of as the parents combine love with a recessive fear of obtaining life insurance for a dead child. At college, none of this is readily available save for your own personal trip to a nearby doctor's office, one that will likely try to press an $8.00 bottle of decongestant to fix your whooping cough as a start, and everything becomes a gut instinct.

Can I hold down that piece of toast? Nope, don't think I'll be able to. Well, there goes lunch. God, my stomach feels like crap right now. I wonder if sleep will take care of this. Should I even bother going to class? I can't afford to miss it, but I have NO energy right now... I'M SO HUNGRRRYYYYY...

Thankfully my upbringing as a child has left me somewhat more resistant to death than others, since my father's general idea of curing an illness was to slap a bed onto you, see how you fared without medicine if possible, and if you managed to survive, well congratulations, you're not dead! Go to school! (I love that man.)

Nevertheless, I suppose this lame excuse for an entry serves as a warning to all those approaching their college years, or perhaps even those lucky enough to have not come down with anything serious DURING their years so far in college; take care of yourself, please. An ounce of prevention is definitely worth more than the several pounds of WEIGHT you'll gain through depression-induced eating at the sight of your coughing, overexerted self, and prevention is a lot easier to handle than restoration. Yes, ladies, this means cleaning the bathroom hands-on instead of waiting for the magical dorm staff to do it, because if one person gets sick before they get to it, chances are you will too.

Just another reason why parents are awesome.

~sincerely, sonicmega

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:53:45 GMT

Purposeful Ponderings

If a group of 50 people surrounds you, and everyone begins to command, "Don't give in to peer pressure!"...

What do you say?

It's a God eat Dog world.

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:57:34 GMT

Perhaps those of you more religiously inclined can help me out with this situation here, because since about 3:00 PM yesterday afternoon I've been radically changed in my belief of what exactly it means for someone to be a Christian.

This post does not concern me, in fact, so I apologize to those of you who were mislead by the opening catcher to this entry (at the same time, I admit no regrets in the fact that I like misleading people to BEGIN with; guessing games are so much fun). Rather, this concerns a very close friend, my best friend, who is also my roommate here at wonderful Western Michigan University. As of late, he's felt as though he may be coming under Christian influence, a life choice I support wholly, for lack of a better word; I prefer not to say IGNORE, because while I do show a more accurate state of ignorance towards the fact that he very well may now be a Christian, it sounds more apathetic and uncaring than it really is.

Moving back on topic: my roommate has, for a few weeks now, been part of an on-campus Intervarsity Worship group for Christians that operates outside of normal class hours, as well as independent of any requirements or assignments for classes within the university, offering simply a wonderful opportunity for Christians to meet each other, make friends, and worship in the name of God. I ask that you make note of this last example, because worshipping is, as I understand it, a personal action done willingly and is usually PREFERRED to be done with as many people as possible, to accentuate the already strong bond between one and his all-forgiving Creator.

This past Tuesday, my unnamed roommate found himself unable to attend Worship because of the sheer amount of homework he had that needed to be finished, sacrificing an evening's worship in order to keep his grades at an acceptable level.

Because of this single instance of missed worship, his Intervarsity group BANNED... I repeat, BANNED, him from joining them for Worship the following Thursday.

Excuse me, but when did praying to the Almighty become a PRIVILEDGE and not a RIGHT? For a demographic that so often praises the infallible love of God, his ability to forgive all accidents and sins from those who truly follow his word and seek forgiveness for it, is an action as far as barring your own group member from participating with you justifiable, if even ethical? Even days after the "punishment" has passed, I continue to sit here with my face firmly pressed against my ever-so-warn palm of my hand, pondering how on earth a movement to retain a good grade receives the same jurisdiction as a decision to smoke weed in the absence of attending a worship session.

Perhaps you all can fill me in. Is denying someone the ability to worship with you because they missed a previous session acceptable?

~sincerely, sonicmega

You and the Captain... well, just YOU make it happen.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:26:11 GMT

One of the interesting characteristics I hold, one that you need not necessarily be a close friend of mine to discover, is that I like to disagree with people. Granted, this does not end up delving into beautiful bouts of bated fisticuffs, but I almost always manage to find a stance outside of the common thought. Tell me that Grand Theft Auto is the best series ever, and I'll ask why Megaman 9 is selling so well; claim that Citizen Kane is the greatest movie ever, and I shall inquire as to whether you've ever watched The Pagemaster. Dictate that Ocarina of Time was the best game ever made by Nintendo, and I will completely agree with you, but still remark that you smell as though showers were foreign to you, just in case.

In that same light, I've seen a lot of entries from people who appear to be more down in their emotional states than myself, seeking advice from others as to any possible method they could usurp in order to improve their decreasing mental contentness. And in response, I also notice a large majority of the responses saying that "Just wait it out, and something good will come to you. You have to be positive and look for those special moments".

While this is true in some aspects (especially such as those involving recovery from a disease), I must rather state that this quote as a whole is not conducive to the true nature of people who find themselves in a more optimistic predicament than others. In a shorter, less nerdy sentence, it's not natural thinking, yo.

To me, the truth is this: YOU have to make the special moments happen, through perserverance, not unlimited patience.

Yes, I will admit, a lot of things in life require some length of patience to watch as results develop and become clear, but I have yet to hear of a case of a man who went from depression to excitement and excellence from simply waiting for good things to come his way. Though many famous men and women did experience times of failure and defeat despite their best efforts, the truly well-known ones continued to strive for their goal in life (or, lacking one, for their GOAL to find a goal, which is as ridiculous to say out loud as it is to read) regardless of whatever obstacles came their way. If nothing else, they made a pact simply to make others happy, one of the most simplistic and yet fulfilling goals I have ever heard in my life.

In my oh-so-annoying fashion of applying this concept to my own life in a vain dual-attempt to both impress you all and make myself seem justified, I take pride in the fact that my Voice Acting hobby/intended career has NEVER been pushed forward by anybody other than myself. Its discovery was complete circumstance by my own bored browsing, its first execution, through my own scared-witless efforts. Admittedly, none of my family members very much cared for my practice at all, feigning what would be considered more of a TOLERANCE than an acceptance. Yet my love for this aspect of my life, one that few other people know the true beauty of, has continued to find me ways to both extend my prowess and to bring joy to others through both the entertainment I provide the AUDIENCE, and the motivation I can give to the animators working on their projects. Add to that the numerous projects I've become involved in (even as large as voicing in an animation for a LEARNING CENTER), and it's really become a system that makes itself fun on its own now.

Does it come at the cost of setting some social aspects aside? For me, at least, slightly, as the experience of pursuing something you've never tried before in the hopes of discovering something new can certainly eat up your time. But the opportunities and social connections I GAINED from doing this have far outweighed the temporary problems I encountered, making lasting impressions on both myself and the wonderful people I have come to know.

So the next time you find yourself in a situation where the question of, "what do I do" arises, please take a note from Cynical Mr. Chiplock, if you ever accept one, and do this:

Make it happen.

~sincerely, sonicmega

Which Way is the Write Way?

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 23:51:51 GMT

One of the most popular types of complaints I've noticed around Xanga - and ironically, usually the most often "believed" by others who read them - are those concerning the 'lifelessness' of Xanga, expelling claims from mouths full of abhorrence and rejection about the inevitable death that is slowly consuming the entirety of the site.

Taking this into account, I have carefully formulated that this well-researched theory is in fact complete and utter BULL EXCREMENT, a fallacy only propagated as a result of the tens of thousands of people a year who create a site, realize it actually involves work to get to know people and get yourself views, and proceed to subsequently abandon their "glorious creation" within the same evening, often retreating to the picture-filled haven of their Myspace.

Xanga, in my observance, is only considered 'dead' by most because a large number of people use it for one reason, and one reason only: POPULARITY. Actually, scratch that, for that isn't the word; RECOGNITION, now there we go. People of this type write blogs because they want to be RECOGNIZED by people (whether through comments or, for most, being Featured), and when they are no longer being as "centered on" as they had hoped, they begin to wane out. I know this is at least partially applicable, because when I first began my site I was, regrettably, the exact same way. Granted, my having an anime-themed site usually meant I could continue this way without much reproach from those like me, and as a result I often found myself on the featured list (at one point, even beating out thetheologianscafe by ONE EPROP) for simply comment-hounding sites with the same damn comment. It was shortly after I began to lose that daily featured status, however, that I entered the several-month hiatus that plagued me from writing new entries.

Yet if you look now, the people who are featured often have CONNECTIONS with those who comment on them. It is not an arduous procedure where they simply visit every site they can and leave a copypaste message asking them to respond. You see the same people on the same sites, chatting with one another and leaving their feedback, perhaps not even caring if they get a response because they KNOW the person they are responding to knows they exist. Having accepted this new ideal, although I admit I still hold tendencies to prefer responses to my entries, I realized that my love for writing came from bringing those kinds of people together and perhaps one day having my own influence upon the masses who still attend here.

Xanga is truly a blogging space, and if you look at places that have blog options like Facebook and Myspace, you can tell that they just aren't the same. This is what is hard for most "transferees" to grasp, but it is essential for explainiing why the long-term users are those long-term users.

So remember this, newcomers and veterans alike: Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm pretty sure your site isn't going to be plastered across every noticeable Xanga page in a short amount of time either.

TL;DR - Sit down, shut up, and write. :D

~sincerely, sonicmega

If you could set a future post for after your death, what would it say?

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:58:54 GMT

What an obscenely silly question, my dear Xanga. I don't intend to have a final post after I die, because I'll either write it myself using my ghostly powers, or haunt others to do it for me.

Honestly, now.